How to get kids to listen
Do you repeat the same sentence 3 to 7 times until your kid hears you or sees you by turning on? Would you like to be heard from the first time? If you would like to be heard and kids do what they are asking for, you should implement these 6 powerful tools. As a result you will gain more patient, have more time, be less tired and stressed. Kids will be more respectful, gain more self-confidence, develop positive behavior and relationships.
1 Make eye contact.
The first step to get a kid to listen is to engage him to a conversation by making eye contact. If your kid is sitting than your should also do that, if he is laying – do the same. It is essential that you physically are in the same eye contact level as it creates the atmosphere of trust and friendship. Get kid’s attention in this way so that he will be willing to hear what are you saying. However, you should not keep your eye contact too intense during the conversation as your kid might perceive it as a way of control.
2 Use short clear sentences.
Use short and clear sentences in order to be understood and to keep your kid interested. Do not talk too much. Long sentences give a feeling to your kid that you are not sure about what you want to say. Moreover, speak shortly and be more specific. Thus, instead of saying: “Go and clean up your toys” say: “I need you to put all your blocks into a green box”. If your kid is older (6 years old or more) instead of saying: “Go and clean up your room” say: “I need you to put all of your toys from the floor to its’ places”.
3 Be positive and polite.
Use a positive and polite language when talking to your kid. Instead of using words such as no, don’t or you must say what you want them to do in a polite and gentle way: “Play with a ball only outside please” or “I need you to clean…”. In most cases you can meet your kid with the consequences as it explains and justify his action : “Play with a ball only outside please, as you can brake something in the house”. Positive words builds kids self-confidence, as a result provides with a positive and respectful behavior. Remember that the way you act with your kid is reflected in his behavior with you and the others.
4. Give alternatives and options.
If you want your kid to cooperate, it is important for him to know and understand why he should do something and how he can benefit from that. Instead of punishing your kid for not listening or doing what you ask for, give him an alternatives and/or options. Kids need to see the importance of what you are saying or asking for. If you say: “Clean up your toys”, “Would you like to eat a soup”or “Come and eat your soup”, your kid probably will say: “I don’t want to”, “I won’t eat that”. Use “When” and “Which” words instead: “When you finish cleaning up, then you can go outside” or “Which spoon would you like to pick to eat your soup with”.
5. Name his feelings.
Ask your kid questions that don’t end with “yes” or “no” answers. Instead of asking: “Did you have a good day in kindergarten?” ask: “What was the most fun today in kindergarten?” Respond positive to you kid’s talks and show the interest in what he is saying.
6. Give advance notice.
If your kid is playing, inform him that soon will be the time to clean up the toys. In this way he will get used to the idea and be more willing to do what you are asking for.
NOTE: Communicating with your kid requires a lot of practice and determination. However, it is worth the effort, as it builds your kid’s behavior and the relationship with you and the other now and in the future.